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Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in [path]/includes/class_postbit_alt.php(474) : eval()'d code on line 260 <![CDATA[Ford Forums - Non-Ford & Non-Automotive Chat]]>
http://www.ford-forums.com
enSat, 21 Nov 2009 03:57:10 GMTvBulletin60http://www.ford-forums.com/images/visionsred/misc/rss.jpg<![CDATA[Ford Forums - Non-Ford & Non-Automotive Chat]]>
http://www.ford-forums.com
JOTD: Air Traffic Control.
http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/40459-jotd-air-traffic-control.html
Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:23:41 GMTOn some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field & civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference... If you are a commercial flight, it is 3 o'clock . If you are an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If you are a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If you are in a Marine aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If you are an Army Air Corp aircraft, it's Wednesday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour."
:biggrin5:
]]>TBIRD430http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/40459-jotd-air-traffic-control.htmlThe difference between Ford, Chevy, and Dodge trucks...
http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/40446-difference-between-ford-chevy-dodge-trucks.html
Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:35:56 GMTMany people are very opinionated on what type of trucks they like, for whatever reason...but now it's time to see what the actual differences are..
Ford-Makes a good, reliable truck. Very effective vehicle, won't let you down.
Chevy-Focuses more on making a "comfortable" truck with features, trying to be more "luxurious" and "classier". Still a reliable truck, but not as effective for towing/doing work, ect, as Ford.
Dodge-Tries to do both. And fails at both.
]]>Charliehttp://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/40446-difference-between-ford-chevy-dodge-trucks.htmlJOTD air traffic control
http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/40401-jotd-air-traffic-control.html
Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:38:09 GMTOn some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the...On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference... If it is a commercial flight, it is 3 o'clock . If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Wednesday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour."
]]>93probe_2.0http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/40401-jotd-air-traffic-control.htmlMy turn - JOTD
http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/40252-my-turn-jotd.html
Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:57:40 GMTSubject: Best Golf Story Ever
A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole...Subject: Best Golf Story Ever
A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.
On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang... It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.
The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf.
He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital. He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant....
Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.
The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you!" "I hope you're proud of yourself!"
"While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU!" "It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the clock care and you will be her care giver! She will need IV's; you will have to change her colostomy bag every 3 hours; she will have to be spoon fed 3 times a day and don't forget the hygiene care."
The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed..
The doctor snickered and said, "I'm just messing with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"
]]>taz4x4150http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/40252-my-turn-jotd.htmlToo Funny Not To Share
http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/40094-too-funny-not-share.html
Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:33:16 GMTA gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands...A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."
The instructor said,
"During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. "You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire life".
]]>ncfurnituremanhttp://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/40094-too-funny-not-share.htmlNew Delorean?
http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/40091-new-delorean.html
Fri, 13 Nov 2009 23:18:03 GMTAs some of you know I owned a Delorean.
I just got this email today from DMCH and it looks like they will be producing a new Delorean under a...As some of you know I owned a Delorean.
I just got this email today from DMCH and it looks like they will be producing a new Delorean under a different chassis.
This is all I know, I subscribed for more info.
]]>mark vhttp://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/40091-new-delorean.htmlHow Men and Women Shower
http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/39924-how-men-women-shower.html
Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:27:36 GMTHow To Shower Like a Woman
1.Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
to lights and darks.
2.Walk to bathroom...How To Shower Like a Woman
1.Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
to lights and darks.
2.Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3.Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
4.Get in the shower.
5.Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
6.Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
7.Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
8.Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
9.Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
10.Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
11.Rinse conditioner off hair.
12.Shave armpits and legs.
13.Turn off shower.
14.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
15.Spray mold spots with Tilex.
16.Get out of shower.
17.Dry with towel the size of a small country.
18.Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
19.Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
20.If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
1.Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2.Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3.Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
4.Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
5.Get in the shower.
6.Wash your face.
7.Wash your armpits.
8.Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
9.Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
10.Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
11.Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
12.Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13.pee.
14.Rinse off and get out of shower.
15.Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16.Admire wiener size in mirror again.
17.Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18.Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
19.Throw wet towel on bed.
]]>91xltlariathttp://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/39924-how-men-women-shower.htmlJOTD: The Halloween Costume
http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/39643-jotd-halloween-costume.html
Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:15:31 GMTA couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache
and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a...A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache
and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take
some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by
not going.
So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about
an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have
some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance
floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a
little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his
current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just
arrived. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.
So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume
away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his
behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he
had. He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when
you're not there."
- "Did you dance much ?"
- "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill
Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.
But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume
to...."
:ciappa:
]]>TBIRD430http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/39643-jotd-halloween-costume.htmlAuto Club
http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/39435-auto-club.html
Sat, 31 Oct 2009 19:17:50 GMTBest Roadside offers the core roadside assistance services for a pretty low price. They also have three gallons of fuel for free in their out-of-gas...Best Roadside offers the core roadside assistance services for a pretty low price. They also have three gallons of fuel for free in their out-of-gas fuel delivery service.they don't limit you to just 4 service calls per year.
They also have pretty high towing mileage.It has a service that covers the vehicle no matter who is driving. This is good for a family that has more members than cars. It is pretty affordable to cover the cars rather than an individual person.I think it is up to 75 miles. just visit Roadside Assistance and Auto Club Plans - Best Roadside
]]>jiashahoodhttp://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/39435-auto-club.htmlHappy Halloween from...
http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/39412-happy-halloween.html
Sat, 31 Oct 2009 07:54:11 GMTImage: http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i188/dburdyshaw/Z%20Misc%203%20FEP/Midnight_Lace_u_r_scared_11.jpg
]]>DRBurdyshawhttp://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/39412-happy-halloween.htmlJotd:
http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/39360-jotd.html
Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:52:00 GMTCatholic Coffee:
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."
:thumbsup:
]]>TBIRD430http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/39360-jotd.htmlhusbands do remember anniversaries!!
http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/39259-husbands-do-remember-anniversaries.html
Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:35:49 GMTA woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds...A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he says solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?" "Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shot gun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?" "I remember that too" she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today. :biggrin5:
]]>91xltlariathttp://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/39259-husbands-do-remember-anniversaries.html<![CDATA["Fall where I am"]]>
http://www.ford-forums.com/non-ford-non-automotive-chat/39083-fall-where-i-am.html
Fri, 23 Oct 2009 21:41:32 GMTWell I thought I would put up some pics of what fall looks like where I am in western North Carolina. Since I have never been out of the...Well I thought I would put up some pics of what fall looks like where I am in western North Carolina. Since I have never been out of the Southeastern United States I was hoping some of you would post pics of your area of the Globe. Summer, Fall, Spring, or buried under snow, what does it look like where you live? Attachment 4124
Front Yard today Attachment 4125
Back yard today Attachment 4126
Side yard today Attachment 4127
Front yard in the only decent snow we got last year.
In the next week or two I hope to take some pictures in the mountains 30 minutes west of where I live. :thumbsup:
]]>